Zundo

Strolling through a crowded shopping area is predictably mundane; at least that?s what I thought until i met Zundo the gnome on the eve of November 17th. He was truly a pitiful sight. Yet seeing him lying in his own drool gripping his beer can for dear life aroused my mercy and so after carting him off in my subcompact we began a truly fascinating afternoon of binge drinking and psychotherapy. We discussed our childhoods and we found that even though Zundo had grown up beneath a tree trunk on the outskirts of the North Pole and i had grown up in downtown Newark we could still be best of friends.
So now from the time i awaken till i drop at night i am shadowed by an attention deprived drooling grouchy gnome who refuses to wash his clothing. Now normally alcoholic gnomes really dont bother me, dont get me wrong i do not endorse alcoholism. Nevertheless i desperately need a bigger apartment. if the situation goes on like this for much longer i fear that i may find Zundo gnawing at my sweaty sneakers and chasing the mailman with that rusty toilet snake that he loves to play with.
I think i'de better stop here before i get hit with a defamation of charachter suit by the Union of Trolls for a Better America.